Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I wish i was in the wii world.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
