if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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