Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
