Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
im holly from the hills drunk
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize