help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
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