No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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