How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
