the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Randomize
