dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
