Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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