Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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