You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
