just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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