I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Randomize
