Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
