You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
