Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
