I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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