I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
