So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Can i not drive my cunt home
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Randomize
