turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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