So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
