Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
