We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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