what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Is it penis luge time yet?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
