Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
