it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
