So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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