I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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