haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
