Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
