he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Houston, we have a squirter
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
