imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I stole a fireplace last night.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
