Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
