Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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