Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
