I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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