you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
True strength comes from lack of pants
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
