Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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