He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize
