Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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