Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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