I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
