We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Randomize
