Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
