awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
She bit a glass in half.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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