Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
