Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
