scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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