i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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