I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
