I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
