Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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