she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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