We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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