So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You did what with his pubic hair?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
