i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
