I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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