You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
My balls are so social today.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
