Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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