she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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