I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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