im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
oh god the rape fog is back!
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize