Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
