Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
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She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
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I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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