Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Do you still have your period?
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
